Obviously. I probably don't even have to say the words. You already know.
So I won't.
But I would like to profess my love for something. Something very near and dear to my heart. This is something that brings people closer together. Makes everyone feel special. Brightens your day. Makes people friendly, puts smiles on their faces. That something, my friends, is beer.
Yes, yes. I love beer. Much like Brick from Anchorman loves lamp, my heart swells at the thought of that bubbling yellow libation spouting from a draft or dribbled out of a can.
I have friends that are more into liquor (one of my roommates affectionately calls her drink of choice "Jimmy"--as in Jim Beam--and frequently refers to their relationship: "I have a feeling Jimmy and I are going to get pretty close tonight"), and I will confess that tequila is a close second to my precious beer. I mean who can turn down a margarita on the rocks no salt? Even shots of tequila are fun.
But beer is reliable. You always know what you're getting, how much it will take you to get drunk. Beer is safe, you can arm yourself with beer at a party and not worry about blacking out too quickly (jungle juice...my mortal enemy). Wine is great too, but, if beer is your boyfriend, wine is like your boyfriend's gorgeous, sophisticated cousin who you can't stop looking at during your boyfriend's family Christmas party, but you're also pretty sure he's gay. Beer is cheap. Beer is easy. Beer always comes home with you at the end of the night. If you play your cards right, beer doesn't leave nearly as nasty a hangover that wine or tequila might (sorry, guys. I'll always have some space in my heart for you, my first love). If beer were a person, he would be perfect.
I'll drink to that.