Wednesday, February 3, 2010


There's a phenomenon happening in the blog world (and really, I hate to use the term "blog world" but, since I guess I have this blog, I am a part of it), and its the letters to a girl's "husband-to-be" or, HTB. Um. What? These are not letters to a specific someone, but rather a guy she's never met. In public. Where people can read them. To reiterate: the girls who write HTB letters fawn over a man they have never met. They coo and say "oh how I wish we already knew each other" or "I know God has a plan that will someday bring us together" or "I can't wait for the day where I get to have dinner ready and waiting for you on the table when you arrive home from work." I mean, what are these girls even in college for? To earn their MRS. degrees? It's just a little desperate. It's a lot desperate. Many of us are perpetually single! I'm having fun with it...HTB girls should probably stop looking for a husband and live a little bit. Blogging about a husband-to-be is projecting so far into the future that when you actually meet a guy, he's going to think you're a complete psycho. But, since I think they probably won't, I'm going to shamelessly make fun of them and their HTBs.

Dear DHTB (divorced husband to be)
Oh, how I f**king hate you. You're a shameless bastard and a coward. I hope Vicky, the long legged preteen, is giving you all you ever wanted in the bedroom. I'm sorry that I was so disappointing, you'll have to forgive me for being tired from taking care of your three children all day, cooking your dinner and washing your filthy underwear (I mean, come on dear, there were always skid marks in your tighty-whities). And let's not forget the fourth of July incident of 2002. You know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy paying alimony. I hope you knock Vicky up so you can have another 18 years of marital hell.
Your future ex-wife

1 comment: