Confession: My siblings are cooler than me.

Its true. I hate to admit it. My siblings, two younger brothers and a younger sister, are all infinitely cooler than I am. I am a nerd. I have a blog. In every family, there is someone who is pretty, someone who is cool, someone who is smart. Sometimes, if you're really lucky, you'll get a family where everyone is at least two of those attributes, and sometimes (once in a blue moon) everyone will be pretty, smart, and really cool. This is not so in my family. It was apparent from childhood: I was really, really uncool.

My (amazing, wonderful) parents had four kids in seven years, the middle two being only fourteen months apart. I was more responsible at eight than my youngest brother will be in his entire life, but that's just the way eldest children are programmed. But being the oldest by two years was difficult: I was awkward while the three babies were still cute, and even when the middle two started to seem awkward (by some twist of fate...they never seemed to go through that phase in the entirety that I did), I was still awkward.


Us: 1996

It didn't help that I was freakishly tall. There is a family picture of us from when I was in the 8th grade (that makes Jamey in 6th, Brittany in 5th and Harrison in...1st I think), there was a family reunion in which everyone took an individual family picture. Now, let me confide in you that when I was fourteen, I had nearly realized my full size: I was 5' 7" and 150 pounds (a figure that I eventually grew into, don't you worry). My nearest aged siblings, at twelve and eleven, had yet to hit five feet. It looked like the two parents, their three AAAdorable children and me...their...babysitter? I wish I had the picture on my computer to show you. Truly a sad, sad sight.

It stems back even farther than that. When I was about five, I wanted nothing more than to be a ghost for Halloween. My mother, being the kind of mother she is (the one that always allowed freedom of expression), happily obliged me, and fashioned me a ghost costume out of a sheet (yes...a sheet. With eye and mouth holes). Also, being the busy momma she was, she went out and bought costumes for Jamey and Britt, then 3 and 2, respectively. J was a bumble bee. B was a bunny. That Halloween night, when Dad took us trick-or-treating, I could NOT FATHOM why, at every single house we went to, the ladies answering the door SQUEALED: "OoOoOhhh look at the bumble bee! And the BUNNY! AWWWWW!!!" And then, they would hand us candy, and not say a darn thing about me! The ghost!

It took me years to realize it was because a bumble and a bunny are cute. I had a sheet wrapped around my head and tied at my neck with eye holes cut out. NOT CUTE.

Did I mention the term of endearment for me was Stephy-poo, while my sister's was Pretty Britty? That one still hurts.

I was the one with acne. I had bushy eyebrows. I had braces first, I got in trouble for everything first, I was the gargantuan amazon until after my first year of college when my brother FINALLY grew taller than me. I was shy, painfully painfully shy (hard to believe it now, right?), when my sibs were gregarious and sunny, giggling and smiley.

In high school (this is where I get to the cool part) I was a nerd. I had weird friends (who..actually, I'm still friends with...and I love their weirdness! and mine!), I was in the drama club, and I only pretended to like the field hockey team I was on...but I guess its hard to like something if you're completely talentless (I mean...you should have seen me with a field hockey stick. Sad, sad, sad). J and B were not "popular" per say, but they were right on the fringes...many people I went to school with didn't even know my name. Now, J and B are both involved with Greek life on their respective campuses...and we all know how cool THAT is.

But, in the end, I don't care about not being cool. In fact, I bask in it. I accept my nerdyness, and funny thing is, other people do too. And every kid goes through just what I went through, it just took me awhile to realize it. But...some of those things are pretty hilarious.


Us: 2009