cleaning up and cleaning out

I'm moving in four days. WHAT???

That's kind of how my morning went. Today I started the daunting task of packing for NYC. For good. I have to keep remembering that it's not like I'll NEVER come back to my parents house, but I still don't want to leave them with all my shit. I mean, my bedroom is like a museum. I'm one person, I don't need most of knickknacks that are here, but something prevents me from throwing them out.

Cleaning out my childhood bedroom has been strange. There are so many things I've left in here to collect dust for four years and more, things I'm not sure I'm glad I kept--old diaries and love notes (including one terribly pathetic one I wrote to my high school boyfriend that never got sent, telling him how scared I was to go to college and lose him), and, believe it or not, old instant message conversations I for some cruel reason printed out and saved. I found strange old jewelry I remember wearing in elementary and middle school which offered many funny "what was I thinking?" moments. I found ticket stubs for The Village, Bridget Jones' Diary, Rent, and The Exorcism of Emily Rose, all from Sharon Cinema 8, the old crappy theatre the next town over. I found fortunes from fortune cookies, old pictures, some really old makeup (gross), wallets, etc etc.

But perhaps the funniest things I came across were the fictitious love notes I wrote to fictitious characters. I was quite the imaginative child, and I had a big literary crush on none other than Ron Weasley of Harry Potter fame. Enough so that I wrote him fake love notes. I so wish I was kidding about this one. There were several notes stored in a plastic baggie at the bottom of a drawer. Apparently my name was Ella Prewett, and I was an American witch (like Hermione but cooler), and Ron was my school boyfriend. I must have been eleven or twelve when I wrote these, all in my best cursive, all addressed to Ron Weasley, 5th floor bedroom, the Burrow, England. And the comedy doesn't stop there:
My Darling Ron,
          I miss you so...these sticky summer days just make me think of you more and more (uhh...what does that mean???). I need you and your face never leaves my thoughts. I had a dream last night that you and I ruled a country. You were the king and I was your queen. If only it could really be that way. I know we were destined to be together. I am coming back next year (presumably to Hogwarts) even if I have to run away from this place. Please write back. I love you x infinity.
xoxox Ella
I mean honestly, where did I come up with something like that? I even had Ron writing back to her...an entire correspondence. Uber pathetic. I don't know whether to throw them out or keep them for posterity. I'm actually having a hard time with throwing out most things that should be thrown out.


There are certain things that will stay here or go to good will: my summer clothing, a couple old t-shirts emblazoned with my name and number from my sports days of high school (HC rugby stuff will come with me), things that have been in my drawers since I was in high school. Many of my books will either stay here or have to be donated (shudder). Lemon bear and blankie of course will come with me (wait am I almost 23? Is it time to give them up? maybe when I get married...or not...). Lemon bear and blanks got put through the ringer in college, each suffering a couple terrible incidents: blanks got chewed up by my doggie Tucker (I'm just thankful blankie didn't meet the same fate as most of my nice undergarments), and good ol' LB was the victim of some vom splatter. Poor guy.

Tomorrow's task: tackle all the crap under my bed, which will probably be more difficult than the dresser.