So there's this commercial that I happen to see a lot while watching TV. Specifically, while I'm watching the Daily Show online (because I don't have TV). It's a commercial for Rogaine Foam (tm?). And it's driving me nuts.
I can't find the particular commercial I want to share with you on youtube (or anywhere, except on the Daily Show website), but I'll sum it up for you. This guy noticed his hairline was receding. He started using Rogaine Foam. It's so easy. Like brushing your teeth. It regrows hair in 85% of guys (notice the real smaht ad execs on the Rogaine account used the word "guys" so it would appeal to the younger age set...real clever, real clever. My advice? Next time also use the word "dudes" "homies" and "brahs" to appeal to all the surfers, black men and lacrosse players that are also scared of losing their hair). This is all good stuff. Seems like a great product. But something's amiss. See if you can pick it out in this version of the commercial I'm talking about:
Why are these commercial bugging me? Because these guys look fucking DEPRESSED and EMBARRASSED. Am I wrong? Their nonchalance, shrugging shoulders, and shifty, downcast eyes read like a tail between a dog's legs. They look more ashamed than the men who advertise Viagara.
Is it true? Are men really more embarrassed about losing their hair than losing their potency?
I was watching the episode of Sex and the City yesterday where Carrie and Aidan have a big fight over each other's clutter inside their small apartment. "Why do you have FIVE half empty SpeedSticks?" Carrie yells incredulously, to which Aidan replies, quite innocently, that they have different smells. She continues to pick through his box of toiletries. "Do you even wear musk? and Rogaine?--wait, you use Rogaine?" She softens her expression, as Aidan looks increasingly uncomfortable. "Are you losing--" but before Carrie can finish her sentence Aidan bursts: "I don't want to TALK ABOUT IT!" Weee...what a nerve! Ouch!
Maybe I don't get it. Women don't usually suffer from baldness of the male-patterned kind (I do know it's possible for a woman to have thinning hair). But, gents, I don't happen to see what the big deal is. Sure, full heads of hair are great. But hair does not a man make. My father is bald, and both my grandfathers are bald (my brothers are screwed). Perhaps other women care about baldness. I don't think it's a deal breaker. There are so many other things that can be/probably are wrong with you.
Bald Heroes you can have: Prince William, Bruce Willis, Kevin Youkilis, Tiger Woods, A-Rod, your dad, your uncle, your brother...
Buck up, guys. If baldness is in your genetics, work it! Just try not to look like George Costanza. And please, for the love of God, avoid a comb-over at ALL COSTS. And if you want to use the Rogaine, be my guest. Just don't be so sensitive about it.