Tuesday, May 31, 2011

oh, hey

How are you? It's been awhile. Come here often? You look great. No, seriously. That top looks amazing on you.

I've been a little...sad recently. And the 'sadness' has really curbed my want to write in a public way. I hope you understand. It's funny, the purpose of my blog is basically to write about things that suck, and then when I'm actually feeling sucky, I really don't want to write about it.

So I'm not. I'll talk about what people always talk about in these times: the weather.

It's hot out there. Like, really hot. How's everyone holding up? I would say that I was melting, but I'm actually kind of enjoying it. I know, I know. It's kind of weird, though it might have something to do with the fact that i spend 8 hours a day in a windowless cubicle.

Something about the heat makes everything heat-cancelling feel better: a glass of really cold water, the slightest breath of a breeze, the cool side of the pillow, the shady side of the street. It's a sluggish weather to go with my sluggish mood as of late.

The heat, really, serves as a memory trigger for me (as so many things do, but just go with it for me, ok?). I grew up without air conditioning, and summertime meant everything was hot and just a little damp. When we complained at night, my mom would tell us just to put our heads at the foot of our beds, a change of scenery would help us sleep. And sleep always did come, if only on the breeze that fluttered through the windows and over our cool thin sheets. I loved the heat most of all because cooling off was the most fun part: slipping away into the dark basement to watch a marathon of Jurassic Park (a family favorite), practicing our dives and playing Shark in the neighbor's pool, days at the beach playing in the waves. I'm always relaxed when it's hot out--you have to be.

But what I love the most about the summertime is the way it makes you think about all the other seasons and all the other summers. I love to pit the lush green and humidity of the summertime against the frozen pink and blue winter. Think about it: on the hottest day of the summer, you can't even contemplate the coldest day of the winter, but there they are, both in existence. It's nature's way of showing us that no matter how sad you feel, you will feel happy again, and no matter how happy you feel, you will be sad again. And there's nothing wrong with that. It was intended to be that way.

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