blog formula

This just in. I'm gonna write a how-to guide. It's gonna change the lives of millions. Listen up, people! Everyone wants to be a blogger (despite the fact that a dear friend of mine recently had the sentiment that blogging is so last year.) So what? Who cares if you're behind the trend? Lucky for YOU, there is a very distinct formula you can follow. It may not guarantee your success, but if you follow these guidelines and add enough foof, YOU CAN BE A BLOGGER TOO!!!!

Blog Module #1: the college blog
Blog posts should look like this:
Today I got up, had yummy fruit and cereal (with skim milk!!!) for breakfast. AND THEN I WAS SO BUSY. I WENT TO CLASS. I HAD SOME KIND OF PRACTICE. I DRANK SOME COFFEE. Then I was so tired that I took a nap, and skipped lunch!!! Oops! Then my bff and I baked cupcakes for our cute boyfriends' fraternity! Here are some pixxxx!!!!!
AND NOW OMG IM SO BUSY I HAVE LIKE 4 PAPERS AND A GROUP PROJECT BUT I JUST HAD TO UPDATE EVERYONE ABOUT MY DAY!!! DONT FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY OF THIS RIBBON BOW THINGY THAT YOU CAN TIE TO YOUR NOTEBOOK! ISN'T IT CUUUUUTE??
p.s. this weekend I'm gonna go out with my friends and maybe have a few drinks and maybe get a little tipsy???? (IDK but my mom reads this blog. HEY MOM! OH! and here's a picture of her...isn't she cute??? don't you just LOVE her Lilly Pulizter dress????) I'll make sure to post some pictures on Sunday after the Sorority Bakesale. Can't wait to hear about YOUR weekends!!! {Said with sarcasm, because this blogger KNOWS her weekend will trump everyone else's}


Blog module #2: the mom blog
Hey everyone! We have been so busy! First, watch this video of my really cute 2 month old lifting his head! You're sooooo cute my little chicken nugget butt!!!! OMG, don't I have the cutest kids? Here's some pictures of them taken with my REALLY EXPENSIVE Digital SLR camera my super rich hubby bought me for Valentine's day. I KNOW...AWWWWW!!! Look at  my outfit! It's all from Anthropologie, no big. LOVE THAT STORE! Can we all agree that I have an AWESOME LIFE???
But seriously, sometimes being a stay at home mom is SO HARD. Between poopy diapers, and cooking food, and cleaning, I don't even put a bra on some days! I KNOW IM SO FUNNY AND HONEST, THAT's WHY YOU READ ME!!!!
But then I just think about GOD and everything is A-O-K (especially if my husband comes home and I get laid, hehehehe).
Speaking of cooking: look at these pictures of the delicious 5 course dinner I cooked last night! YUM YUM!!! My kids LOOOOVE VEGGIES!!!! And look at the whole wheat uber organic very very healthy double double flourless CHOCOLATE CAKE I made!!! We're so healthy and alternative!!! My babies wear cloth diapers, so should everyone elses!
Don't forget about my giveaway of the engraved copper spoons from Etsy! Truly an awesome keepsake! I've got three sets!

Blog Module #3: the decorating blog
Look at this room, isn't it pretty
Look at this couch, isn't it pretty
Look at this mirror, isn't it pretty
Look at this piano, isnt it pretty
Look at this bedspread
Look at this bathroom
Look at this kitchen
Look at these placemats
Look at these towels
Look at these
Look at
Look
AREN'T I CREATIVE???? PRAISE ME, PRAISE ME!!!

Blog module #4: the healthy blog
I LOVE RUNNING!!! But I'm so fat. Let's talk about what we ate today!!!!! Today, I ate some cottage cheese, an apple, and a piece of bread (bad girl!!!) and then for dinner I ate some broccoli. This morning I worked out with my trainer and ran 10 miles!!! My toenails are starting to fall off!!! And work is boring and hard. But when I'm stressed I just exercise and DO I LOOK OK IN THIS MIRROR PIC? I'M IN MY RUNNING OUTFIT!
IM SO FAT :(
ps...excuse the poor picture quality, it was taken with my iPhone 4.

Blog module #5: the dude blog
Sup, guys. Here's how to hit on the ladies. Guess how much I drank this weekend. One time I shit my pants and it was so funny, and I'm ballsy because I'm writing about it in public. I'm a lawyer/in law school/have a really bro job, but at heart I'm a writer. Look at this picture I took. Aren't I artsy and angsty? I know it makes you want to sleep with me.


Satisfaction guaranteed!!!!!