Anyway, I knew some Mormon kids growing up, but never really noticed anything about them except they were usually blond and had lots of siblings. But when I started blogging and, by default, blog stalking (I'm telling you, I get sucked in and before you know it I'm reading posts from February 2006), I found that a disproportionate blogs were by Mormons, up on a soapbox, spreading the good news one "how we met at 19 and were married by 20" story at a time. This is what I've learned about the Mormon faith through blogging:
They all have really nice cameras and take really good pictures of their really blond, chubby, cute kids and their ridiculously good looking and young spouses. They usually didn't go to college (unless it was BYU, which really just seems to be one gigantic singles mixer where everyone in attendance is 'serious about marriage') but opted to go on "mission" instead. As a result, they tend to spell things wrong, use the wrong tenses and punctuations, inappropriately use possessives (o.k., fine, there are a few really good blogs that are also by Mormons. But Courtney Kendrick is a professional writer. Just saying). They've probably vacationed to Hawaii or Southern California, and most likely live in Utah, Arizona, Idaho, or California. They LOVE Mitt Romney. They talk about religion and the "heavenly father" way too much. Maybe it's just me (and I'm pretty religious), but I am just uncomfortable blogging about religion. It's way too personal, but that's a story for another blog.
But here's the kicker, and why I think I'm so fascinated: all the Mormons are so happy. Happy much in the same, creepy way the Duggar family is happy (you know what I mean, happiness that you suspect might not be real happiness, but paraded around and shoved in everyone's faces until you either think something must be terribly wrong with you, or terribly wrong with them, but either way, terribly wrong). A happiness that seems borderline naive. Well, at least, it seems naive to me, being a 23 year old progressive/liberal/New England native/New York transplant. Yeah, I just classified myself as that. I basically make a living out of having an existential crisis every other day and getting drunk weekly and worrying and bellyaching about the state of the world, the state of the dating scene, and the state of things to come
But, as much as I poke fun, Mormons seem to be happy in all the ways many of us, in the midst of our loneliest walks home from the train, buffering the world with our headphones, wish we could be. They are in stable, loving, committed relationships, they get to have a mess of kids running around, they don't seem to be too preoccupied with corporate America, but rather living quaint lives in the foothills of Utah where they go to Church a whole bunch and sit around and read Bible verses. They use the word "sweet" a lot, and a lot of exclamation points, too. They don't seem to be worried about the state of the world or the state of the dating scene (because before you even have to wonder about a dating scene, poof! you're married in less time than most people will introduce a significant other to their parents). They don't seem to have existential crises...ever. They know that, somehow, every living thing has a purpose.
I'm not hating. I seriously am not. Perhaps I'm a little envious because from the other side looking into these warm, beautiful blogs about love and family and home, the cubicle city world seems harsh. But honestly, I should really stop stalking, because the fact that girls my age are married and have babies is just plain strange to me. But I guess if you can't drink and can't have sex, the next best thing would be to get married, right? Still can't drink, but at least you can have sex. But seriously, girls, have fun being sick of your husband by 28 and have a kid in high school by 35. Maybe I'm not so envious after all.