Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Gifts that will bring on the apocalypse

Im not kidding guys, if you want to see the world end, just buy one of these gifts for your loved ones.

The iphone. I just don’t trust it. Who needs a phone that can basically do everything and more than your tricked out laptop? I know its pretty, but let’s be real. It can only go down from here, much like the stock market on October 27, 1929. I don’t trust it because there’s no way gadget technology can get any better. What’s next? A phone that’s implanted in our ears with a holographic screen on the palms of our hands?

Amazon Kindle, or any other electronic book reader. Ladies and gents, welcome to the death of books as we know them. because I was too young and dumb to understand what the big deal was about digital music, I did not lament the ending of albums, record stores, or listening to a CD all the way through. Now its all about the hits. Digital music changed the recording industry in an irreversible way, and I fear the same for the book publishing industry. If this thing latches on (and it probably will, since Oprah endorsed it, and we all know our moms do everything she says), we will be sitting with our grandkids on our laps, telling tales about the days of yore, when you could hold a book in your hand, smell the glue in the binding and the fresh, white paper, turn the pages with your hands. Books will be a thing of the past, little bookshops and even big chains like Barnes and Noble will go out of business. Curse you, Kindle.

Anything from Jared Jewelers. Their b-list commercials are even worse than Every Kiss begins with Kay. Never will I ever say HE WENT TO JARED!!!! My husband to be better go to Tiffany. Or the diamond district.


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA i laughed out loud this entire post. and i completely agree....... especially that oprah's endorsements have great, great power.

  2. I always say the same thing. He went to JARED?! No thank you!