my phone is smarter than your phone

miley...you are soooo cooool.

Just kidding. It really isn't. My phone can basically make phone calls and send text messages. But, honestly, I could care less. Yes, all of my friends (I mean it...seriously) have smart phones. You know, Blackberries, Iphones, Androids, the like. Everyone on the subway has them. Everyone in the office has them.

Not I. My cellphone, which was cool probably three years ago, has a touchscreen that is a bit touch-and-go. As in, it will quit working. As in, no text messages, and phone calls only through voice activation, which I think is a pretty smart invention. Side note: some of my friends are stored as funnily embarrassing names in my phone, such as "God" and "Jesus". It's not so fun to make calls in public using the voice activation for names like that.

Ok, so I'll admit that sometimes I'm a little jealous. Smart phones are pretty. They have cool backgrounds and you always have access to your facebook. They have fun ringtones and take digital-camera-worthy photographs and you can upload your pictures right to your facebook, twitter, blogger...etc. You can look at a map and see where you are. You can play games. You can read your email, or the weather, or the New York Times, and you could probably download porn (but who's asking?). Awesome awesome awesomenessssssss.

But I think that might be part of the problem with smartphones: you can do EVERYTHING on them. Is that what our society is becoming? Our cellphones are extensions of ourselves enough already. Everyone can call each other at any minute of the day, and then be pissed off when the other person doesn't pick up, becauseyou KNOW they have a cellphone that is with them at all times. I get to the point that I'm nervous to leave my cellphone at home, because that's the time when something will be bound to happen, simply due to Murphy's Law. But do we really need all of the extras? Do we really need a porthole to the internet 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the rest of our lives? Not to sound like a neo-hippie, but can't we just be present in the present moment, with the present people?

Nothing drives me more crazy than going trying to spend time with people only to have them be texting/bbming/reading articles on their effing Blackberries the entire time. STOP IT. I'M RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU. For the love of all that is holy, LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING! When I was waiting tables, I can't even tell you how many times I would see parents out with their kids for dinner, only to have both parents on blackberries. Is this what we have? Together, separate lives? That's what we've come to? Do we all have to constantly be having 10 conversations while simultaneously reading blogs (but if you are, it's mine, right?), tweeting your location, retweeting the latest Conan O'Brien post and uploading a picture of your cheeseburger to facebook? COME ON.

I'll admit it, I'm bad with my phone. I forget to text back. I won't look at the damn thing for 12 hour stretches. I'll accidentally leave it on silent for a whole day and then wonder why no one has called me. Oh well; I think I'll keep my phone. I already sit in front of a computer for 9 hours a day. Why the hell do I need a second one in my pocket? I'll find my own way around, thank you very much.

That said, you'd better text me back!

p.s. I hope that some of you are reading this post from a smartphone.