On missing out

I have many lives, it seems. I have my family, my friends from my hometown, college, and the Vineyard. Within those larger groups, there are subsets: different cliques (for lackthereof a better word) from high school, my rugby friends, ski team, roommates (at school and on MV), work friends, etc. etc. In short, it is difficult to be everywhere I want to be. I essentially left school the day I graduated, spent 24 hours at home, and then moved to the Vineyard to start working.

I haven't spent quality time with my friends from high school in months. I haven't had a good amount of family time either. On the whole, I missed Founder's Day, a dumb town holiday that is nontheless fun, that would have been spent with my high school friends. I missed a crazy weekend in New York that my college friends partook in. I've missed graduation parties and helping my mom and siblings with my dad's surgery (he had his hip replaced last Monday).

Ok, fine. I can't be everywhere at once, and I chose to come to the Vineyard, which has been so amazingly fun; I really wouldn't trade it. But even here, I feel like I miss out on things. For example, all of my roommates work during the day while I work at night. They do make family dinners and hang out. Of course, they are not complete without me, and its always more fun when all of us are together, but I can never shake the feeling that I'm missing out, on all aspects.

I think I've reached the juncture in life where I understand how easy it is to let people fall out of your life. Despite all types of preventions, now comes the time where we decide who to keep, who is worth the call, the mailed note, the facebook chat. If you're reading, I miss all of you, and I love all of you.